The lost art of asking for help
Be strong, confident, outspoken were the traits that were most commonly taught when I was growing up. And others, like following people who are strong and know what they are doing.
I never understood that the opposite, asking for help and being vulnerable, is a major component of being confident. Unfortunately, many of today's leaders succumb to the social imperative of needing to do everything themselves to get the appropriate credit for their success.
The most common thought process we go through when we are either stuck on a problem, project, or career goes something like this: What will they think of me? I will appear weak or incompetent, I should know the answer to this. I don’t want to be vulnerable.
For some reason most people, even the successful ones, are under the impression that asking for help is taboo.
The most common fears of asking for help that we need to overcome are:
Will it make me appear weak and incompetent. I don’t want to burden anyone
What if I get rejected. I will look like a fool
Ending up with social debt. Eventually, I am going to have to return the favor
Not the American way
Underestimating the willingness of others to help is a common mistake. You’ve probably helped a lot of people, whether they’d asked or for it or not. Ask yourself "Why is it ok to help others but not ok for you to seek help?”
We’ve all heard the saying: “It takes a village to raise a child.” What happens to the village when the child becomes an adult?
Here is why opening yourself to the possibility of asking for help will make you a stronger leader:
It shows you trust others
You empower others to shine
It shows you are imperfect, and others can relate to you
There is strength in being vulnerable.
